To save my soul from being completely destroyed by rge retail industry, I have decided to open the lines of communication with customers, to help cure them of their bad habits, and to make the general shopping experience somewhat more pleasant. Think of it as my way of giving something back to the community, because I'm nice like that.
Dear Customer,
Please do not take this the wrong way, but you are not as smart as you think you are. By a long shot. And unlike you, I have actually spent a good deal of time in the store, and have a fairly good understanding of how things work and where things are. When I see you, looking dumbfounded, typing some random string of words into the computer and wondering why you can't find whatever book it is you're looking for, I ask you if you need help, because quite frankly, you do. Don't look scathingly at me and tell me that you're fine, you're just looking something up on the computer, because I know exactly how this will end. I'll smile politely and go to walk away, and you, realising you don't know your ass from your elbow, will sheepishly admit to not knowing where something is, despite the computer telling you it is "In Store".
So from now on, lets not dance this dance every time. Lets just accept that I'm here to help, and that way, we can get out of one anothers lives so much faster.
Anyway, love and kisses,
Michael
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