Batman and Mikey. Spot the difference.

You know, it's one of the first things people notice about me, is how much I resemble Batman. Not physically, of course (despite the fact I DO share a certain level of debonair handsomeness with the Dark Knight) but rather, in our general demeanor. We're both surly, stealthy detective types with a penchant for womanizing and lurking around dark alleys late at night, and we both have an array of gadgets that make our crime fighting AND day-to-day lives that little bit more exciting.

However, there are a few subtle differences. Firstly, Batman tends to have a thing for eight year old boys, which, you know... not cool (although the third Robin, Tim Drake, IS of legal age, and was, coincidentally, one of my first comic book crushes. Along with Superboy. THAT'S not a creepy tidbit to share at all...) but secondly, and the whole reason for that ENTIRE preamble, is the fact that Batman carries around with him the most awesome invention on the face of the planet: Ninja Smoke Pellets.

Actually, these are pretty much a staple in comics and movies, to the point where, the other day whilst dealing with boredom, I started to research their existence. Because who doesn't love the thought of throwing a smoke pellet to the ground and disappearing with a flash of light, leaving enemies (or annoying customers) confused, and potentially suffering an asthma attack? First thing I noticed- you can't buy them on ebay. And Yahoo Answers suggested they were completely fictional, an answer I was entirely unimpressed with. I mean, something that awesome HAS to exist. Nobody can imagine something that cool (Hoverboards from Back to the Future 2 notwithstanding) and not see it through. So, like anyone faced with a tricky situation, I turned to the two internet knowledge staples. Firstly, wikipedia, which had a little information, which can be found here, mainly confirming that they exist in some capacity, but not a great deal more than that. Then I stumbled across the treasure chest that is youtube. There, I've managed to watch a ridiculous number of amateur ninjas demonstrating how to create some sort of working Smoke Pellet, generally involving things like ping pong balls and sandpaper. I'm not ENTIRELY sure that's how Batman does it, but hey. We aren't ALL fighting crime with the complete resources of Wayne Enterprises at our disposal, so suck it up.

Thus, I've decided my transformation into costumed vigilante, crime fighting marvel will be complete when I pimp out my utility belt with a few of these beauties. I can't BEGIN to gush about the real world applications I forsee for these things! I'll never have to waste my time ending a sentence again! Difficult customer? No problem- flash bomb on the floor, next thing you know, I've vanished, lurking behind a gargoyle or something. (Mental note: Have gargoyles installed at work. Also, start carrying grappling hook) I don't know why more people don't use these. Can't you just imagine me, disappearing in a *poof*

Alternatively, I could blow my foot off, but you know, that's a risk I think I'm willing to take. I'll let you know how this goes. I'm forseeing well.