And where better to begin than The Nightmare Before Christmas? I'm not going to bother recapping the plot, because in the year 2009, certain things are taken for granted, and one of those is the fact that at some stage in your life, you've watched this gem of a film, about a bunch of weirdos that live in Halloween Town and decide a hostile takeover of Christmas Town is in order. And there's singing. There's not really a great deal to make fun of with this movie- the plot is fairly straightforward, and it manages to do all of it without wasting unnecessary time on trivialities like the meaning of Christmas or goodwill amongst all mankind. Nope- Christmas in this universe is fairly straightforward. It involves Santa making presents and distributing them. Thats all there is to it. Which sounds like a nice, simple concept to me. There's one part where Jack Skellington tries to explain the idea of Christmas to the Halloween monsters, but he seems even more clueless than I am, and you can tell that if he had hair he'd be pulling it out by the end of it, because they all seem pretty fixated on the ideas of mutilated feet and infectious diseases. No one said the people of Halloween Town were thinkers, after all.
Also, the Santa in this version? You can totally tell he kicks all sorts of ass. See the way he brutally murders that bug at the end? Then threatens to kick Jacks ass clear off if he ever fucks with Christmas again? You just know he could have escaped at the beginning, he just wanted to see how badly everyone cocked things up without him. Probably so he'd look even MORE heroic when he fixed everything. Santas a man with a plan. And that plan involves looking suave while saving the day. And teaching scrawny skeleton monsters valuable lessons about staying the fuck on their own turf.
And isn't that what Christmas is ALL about??
Merry Christmas!
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