Wednesday, December 9, 2009

#7: Frasier- Miracle on Third or Fourth Street

Back to episodic adventures tonight, with the first ever Frasier Christmas Special, "Miracle on Third or Fourth Street". Yes, even the show that was so pretentious it gave pretentiousness a bad name managed to have a few Christmas miracles, and of all the specials, this one was definitely the first,

Plotwise, it had Marty being, you know, normal, and Frasier being a prick about it, and them having a fight. So pretty much EVERY episode of Frasier, except this time, it was at Christmas, and it was over some Christmas lights, which DESPITE Frasiers protestations, I thought were tacky as all fuck. Chilli shaped lights for the tree? Nope. Not buying it. That shit's ugly. And not even in a "so tacky it's awesome" kind of way. Just the regular tacky. So, to be spiteful, and because he's not going to see his son for the holiday (they explain why, but I was making popcorn at the time. It had something to do with the Sound of Music, so I'm guessing there was a touching coming-out story in there as well) Frasier decides to take the Xmas shift at the radio station, and spends his entire day being miserable, listening to even MORE miserable people whine about their problems. Just an aside for a second: You're a fucking radio psychiatrist, Dr Crane- HARDEN THE FUCK UP! Listening to sad losers is your damn job! You don't get to act pissy about it, just because you're in a bad mood! It would be like me cracking the shits because people kept buying books off me! Fool. Anyway, on the way home, Frasier decides to chill with a bunch of homeless guys, and have dinner, because, to his surprise, all the good restaurants are closed on Christmas. So far, Frasier hasn't done much to convince me he's as smart as he keeps saying he is, to be honest. It's Christmas, Einstein. What did you THINK was going to be open. Isn't it still kind of a big deal that some McDonalds will serve you on the 25th??

Long story short, it turns out he's forgotten his wallet, and looks like a bum, so everyone assumes he's dirt poor, and offers to buy his dinner for him, despite the fact they've got less money than Britney Spears singing teacher does, which Frasier, whilst touched, accepts. Now, this is where I tend to get annoyed at sitcoms. Because he acts as though the kindness of strangers is some kind of massive Christmas miracle, but really, if he'd opened his fat mouth and offered a plausible explanation for what was going on, the poor homeless peeps wouldn't have HAD to pay for the rich wankers food at all. But no. He tricks them all into buying him dinner. For shame.

So I think the message here is, despite their good intentions, homeless people are morons, and the holiday season is an excellent time to take advantage of their kindly nature and exploit the holy fuck out of them. It's what Frasier would do, and he's a pretty damn classy guy. Merry Christmas.

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