Sigh. Not again...

So, it's time for the annual Angus & Robertson Top 100 Books list to come out, and I'm really not sure why I anticipate this so much every year. It's like anticipating new Star Wars movies. You can't help it, but you know you're going to be disappointed. And this year is no exception. Fuck you, A&R. There, I said it. These lists are getting progressively worse, and they're proving, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Australians shouldn't be allowed to vote for anything, ever. Because as a nation, we're obviously retarded.

The first thing that grinds my gears (and from memory, I bitched about this last year as well) is the fact that in the top three spaces, we already have FOURTEEN FUCKING BOOKS! In THREE SPACES! What the hell is with that? Isn't that against the rules? Doesn't it defeat the purpose? And, of course, "The Twilight Saga" is number one. (Harry Potter Series is #2 and The Millennium Trilogy is #3) Yep. Australia's number one piece of literature is the Twilight Saga. All four of them, apparently, held equally to a pinnacle of literary genius, beating out Pride & Prejudice, To Kill a Mockingbird and The Book Thief. Does that seem right to you? I mean, sure. Let's say for a second that Twilight IS just that good. Do the other three need to be considered equal? Because I've read them. And they're not. Mandatory inclusion is as stupid as saying that because Jaws is a fantastic movie, all of the sequels should be regarded with equal respect. Even Jaws 3D. And NOBODY says that about Jaws 3D.

The other thing pissing me off about the list is how obviously the books on there are reflected in film. Last year, the Book Thief was #7, The Lovely Bones was #17, and Time Travelers Wife was #21. The latter two had movies come out in the last twelve months, and guess what! This year, The Lovely Bones is #5, Time Travelers Wife is #9 and The Book Thief is #10! The ONLY reason for that fluctuation is the fact that people saw the movies. I REFUSE to believe that level of change is due to the fact that people have only just started discovering books from five years ago. There should be a rule that you can only vote for a book after answering a questionnaire proving you've read it. Otherwise, I call bullshit on this entire list.

And finally, you know what REALLY shits me? Not ONE of the books I voted for made it. Ok, fine, my bunch of grapes may be slightly sour, but christ! Not one?

I voted for:

• The Other Hand by Chris Cleave
• Watchmen by Alan Moore
• Bridget Jones Diary by Helen Fielding
• Stardust by Neil Gaiman
• Northern Lights by Philip Pullman

And you know what? I know that none of those books deserve to be number one. Hell, they probably don't even deserve the Top Ten. But when you've got Five Matthew Reilley books, The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown and Pride & Prejudice & Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls already occupying spaces on the list?

Fuck you list. Fuck you in the ear.