My Disco Doesn't Want Me!

It's a fact, universally acknowledged, that Your Disco Needs You is the greatest Kylie Minogue song ever written. Actually, possibly not just Kylie song, but greatest song of all time. But that's for history to decide, not me. It's certainly MY favourite, and at the end of the day, what else matters?
However! I was listening to it in the car tonight, singing away like always, when I realised I have ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING IDEA what she's saying! And I don't just mean in the French bit- I mean the whole damn song! It never occurred to me before, but about 80% of the song is just an amalgamated blur of words, involving scrabble, asses and war. Not content to remain uninformed forever, I hit the interwebs this afternoon to get to the bottom of it, and was kinda suprised. Now I know the words she's singing, but I still have no idea what she's talking about.

We're sold on vanity, but that's so see through
take your body to the floor, your disco needs you
from Soho to Singapore
from the mainland to the shore

WTF, Mis Minogue? Ah, but who cares? I still love the crazy bitch more than my luggage, and it's still the greatest song ever recorded. Even if it makes no sense.