MinnelliHunt 09. PART TWO

SATURDAY

Despite the fact that we missed out on the oppurtunity to meet Liza on the Friday, which was logically, the most likely chance we had, I refused to be dissuaded from my goal. Especially when, as we were having breakfast delivered (Fuck I love room service. Honestly, I could see myself living in a hotel) we managed to learn a piece of VERY exciting information from the guy delivering it. Liza was staying in the same hotel we were. On the 30th floor. Now, the Intercontinental has 31 floors, but the top level is the function room/ club lounge, so essentially, Liza was staying in the nicest area. In a room that was occupied by George Bush during his last Australian visit, incidentally. Which basically translates to: Fucking hard to get into. I learnt this the hard way, because as soon as I learnt she was up there, I jumped in the lift and went for a ride, only to discover a batallion of burly, armed security guards milling about on her floor. So I sheepishly muttered "wrong floor" and went back down to the 21st floor. Honestly, where do they get off, giving me an obvious "You can't afford to stay on THIS floor!" look? They don't know! (The fact that they were correct is of absolutely NO importance)

So, a new plan was needed. First, we got to cram a day full of fun in Sydney into the agenda, where I got to catch up with Samantha and Dave, see Daniel, go to the comic store, and annoy Benjamin endlessly. (Tell me again why I was single for so long??)

On a whim, as we walked past the theatre, we decided to see if tickets were available for that nights performance of Avenue Q, which they were, so we added that to our itinerary, and headed back to the hotel. A quick sojourn up to the 30th floor again revealed the place was STILL crawling with guards, so dinner with Liza was out of the question, and thus, Ben and I headed to Circular Quay for a wander. By this stage, we'd lost Matthew for the evening, who had gone for a date, and we were about to add Damien and Adam, who had come to Sydney to see Liza's Saturday performance. That's when we had the plan. I figured, despite the previous evenings failure, the stage door was still a fabulous option, and because I wasn't going to the concert, there was nothing stopping me getting their quite early to begin both wheeling AND dealing to secure a coveted spot meeting her.

Of course, the recently purchased Avenue Q tickets through a spanner in those works. We went to see the show (which was AMAZING, by the way- about 89% better than I expected an Australian Cast to be) which ended at 10.15. Which gave us 10 minutes to run from one end of Sydney to the other, in order to get to the Opera House. And it was raining. Heavily. Of course, never underestimate a homo with a mission, and so, I ran the length of Sydney, and managed to arrive JUST as Damien and Adam were leaving the Opera House. I was looking slightly less impressive than the previous night (I believe the term "drowned rat" may have been applicable) only to find myself STILL not allowed backstage. Although, given how I looked, they may have assumed I was a crazy homeless person, in which case I don't blame them.

I DID, however, manage to spark up a CHARMING conversation with Maria Venuti, the Australian television personality with the enormous rack, but I think she may have been slightly annoyed with the fact that I: a) Clearly had no interest in talking with anyone but Liza Minnelli and b) couldn't stop staring at her enormous tits. It was a shame I was so fixated on the goal, because under normal circumstances, she seemed like she would have been quite fun!

Anyway, people came and went through the stage door, and we were starting to thing tonight was going to end in failure as well, when the alarms started, the door raised, and the first car pulled out, in much the same fashion as the night before. Only this time, Liza was in the second vehicle. I know this, because it had clear windows, and I was in the front row, and we looked at each other! I mean ACTUAL Minnelli eye contact! And in that instant, that brief, fleeting moment, we shared something magical. Because not only did we make eye contact, we held it, and she pushed her hand against the car window, REACHING OUT FOR ME! It was a total Star Trek 2 moment, where she was Spock and I was Kirk, only she wasn't dying of radiation poisoning. In that moment though, we knew each other, and it was magical. And we were close, too. Like, a metre and a half. In essence, I came face to face with Liza Minnelli. It's only now that I'm mortified by the fact I looked like absolute shit, but at the time, it was amazing.

Figuring that I had just experience a high of EPIC proportions, the four of us went back to the room to drink and reminisce about that one time were Liza looked at me, and I further cemented the fact that I should not be left alone with alcohol in the same hotel as a celebrity. Because I'm an idiot. And apparantly, at 3 in the morning, her security guards have all gone to bed.

And that's where "Hey, let's go see if we can get near her door NOW!" becomes a good idea.

That little orange light under the door number says "privacy". I think I may be the reason she was...less than great... in Idol that night. But you know what? I'm ok with that. All in all, I'd say MinnelliHunt09 went well. And I'm already planning to head back to Sydney on the 2nd of November to try again at her Entertainment Centre concert. Wish me luck!