Monday, December 24, 2012

Who's Les? And why is he miserable?


It's no secret that I am a pretty unashamed musical theatre fag. I mean, I'm planning a trip to New York pretty much for the sole purpose of seeing as many broadway shows as is medically possible, so, you know, when it comes to musicals, "obsession" is putting it mildly.

And one of the first live shows I ever saw (certainly the most dramatic, bar one particularly scarring version of Jesus Christ Superstar I still remember from a Newcastle Amateur Dramatics society that may or may not be responsible for my current atheism), was, like most blossoming young theatre queens, was Les Miserables. It's such a solid, resonating show that the memories of that first performance stick with me to this day, and in no small part shaped me into the tragic musical aficionado I am today.

So, long story short (that ship probably sailed a paragraph back), I was pretty excited for the movie. Which I saw at an advanced screening yesterday, and thoroughly enjoyed. It was amazing. Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman absolutely nailed the show, the cinematography was fabulous, and the score was as amazing as always (apart from several songs being in the wrong spot, which just made me feel like I'd set my iPod playlist to shuffle by mistake). And over the coming months, a lot will probably be written about all the positives of Les Miz, as it's a movie that had a lot going for it. But I'm sorry, I just wouldn't be me if I didn't have SOMETHING to complain about, and that something?


Russell. Fucking. Crowe. 

Ok, I'm sure someone, somewhere, thought that having Hugh and Russell face off as Javert and Valjean seemed like a good idea, and you know what? On paper, I agree completely. They're both great actors, and they both bring a lot to their respective roles. HOWEVER. I hope that person got their fucking arses fired the MOMENT someone heard Russell open his mouth and (and I use this term loosely...) sing for the first time. It was painful! And it was just further reinforced by the strength of the rest of the cast. Don't get me wrong- he acted the utter shit out of the role, but there must have been SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE that could have done that AND not sounded like they had the vocal range of a crumpet. You know, someone like anyone that has ever portrayed the role before in their entire fucking lives?????

It's a shame that what could have been such an amazing movie will inevitably cop a lot of shit for this one example of complete miscasting. Because it WAS a great movie. But seriously, when is Hollywood going to stop casting people that can't sing in musicals? Remember this: 


No. Because you, like everyone else, blocked it from your mind. And I'm so terribly sorry for reminding you. 

Seriously Hollywood. Get your shit together. Love, Mikey. xoxo

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