An enormous step.

I saw my ex today, for the first time in months. Really, the first time since the break up, where we stopped talking. Well, not actually the break up, but the first time since we decided to stop sleeping with one another POST breakup. And it was awkward. But not as awkward as I expected it to be. And as awkward as it was, it felt as though it wouldn't be that way forever.

I saw him because I decided to let him see Yoshie, the dog we had together that we agreed I should take in the divorce. Since we broke up, Michael never expressed any interest in seeing Yosh, until a few weeks back, when out of the blue, he sms'd me about it. At first, I agreed, but on my terms, being I would take Yosh to the park, and he was welcome to come and spend time with him there. He got all pissy, and didn't think that was fair, so I basically told him if he didn't like those terms, he could fuck off. I still stand by the fact that there was nothing wrong with that arrangement, but eventually, I recognised that I was refusing to budge out of stubborness, so I asked if he wanted to have him overnight, which he jumped at the chance to do.

Seeing him tonight made me realise how much I miss my old life, but not in the sense I regret where I am now, because I don't. Only in the nostalgic sense, because we were all so happy. It's a shame life took the shape it did. It's not that I have feelings for him anymore (honestly, the guy was a fucking DICK during the breakup. He told me over facebook chat that he had a new boyfriend. Despite having led me along for weeks with the prospect of reconciliation) but tonight was the first time I entertained the thought that we could actually remain a part of one anothers lives in the future. Which would be kinda nice. I mean, he did know me better than anyone else on the planet for over six years. That kind of thing doesn't just dissapear.

None of this was my intention in letting the dog stay with him, by the way. That whole thing, suprisingly, was completely without alterior motive. For a change, I was being nice for no reason other than the act of being nice. As far as new trends go, I don't see it catching on.