Mikey on Location

This week saw the culmination of plans that have been over twelve months in the making! I finally managed to haul ass to Melbourne to see Wicked. It was a fantastic trip, and the musical was every bit as phenomenal as you would expect (more so, if you weren't expecting much).
Now, obviously, I could spend the entire post raving about how great it all was, and how everyone needs to see it as soon as possible, but that's a tad boring. I mean, what can I say that people aren't already expecting, or haven't already heard? Not much. So instead, here are some far more exciting and interesting things I learnt on my merry jaunt to Melbourne!
- The drive to Melbourne sucks major balls, UNTIL you find Truck FM on the radio. Then it's oddly bearable.
- DON'T stop at trucker rest stops to use the bathroom, unless you are hoping to be either raped or murdered. Those things are scary.
- Trucks are bastards.
- Whereis.com should NEVER be relied upon in an emergency, because I'm sure it just makes things up to be funny.
- Melbourne drivers are insane. I never thought I'd be longing for the courteousness of a Sydney driver, but after driving in Melbourne for a few days, here we are.
- Being offered Valet Parking is an offer too good to refuse, despite the cost.
- When searching for a major landmark, DON'T ask a Newsstand Vendor for help. He sends you in the wrong direction, just for fun! Bastard. I gave him the glaring of a lifetime on the way back, believe me.
- Apparently in Melbourne, being offered a half consumed energy drink passes as flirting. Ew.
- Ozmopolitans are a FANTASTIC part of the Wicked experience, but if you buy one (and you will) don't fuck with your glass like I did, or you''ll be the only person in the entire theatre with a RED glass. How embarrasing.
- The woman in front of me was from Perth. I only include this fact because she kept repeating it like some sort of bizaare mantra. I hated her SO MUCH.
- The other two girls in front of me were even WORSE than the Perth woman. One had an enormous head, the other must have been ADD or something, because she could not sit still. Seriously, a musical isn't THAT long.
- Wiping your tears with TWO hands is wanky, and a cry for attention.
- Hotel breakfasts are the best thing on the planet.
- The trip home is a lot easier than the trip down.
- Mikey wants to see Wicked again.

There are probably more, but I'm still crazily exhausted, and you can only handle so much knowledge in one sitting.