Indiana Jones and the Kidnapped Broad

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS WOMAN?


Now don't get me wrong. I love me some Indiana Jones goodness. Even the FAR less popular Temple of Doom. I mean sure, it's lacks the action of the opening scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark, and it's not as hilarious as Indy and his Dads interactions in Last Crusade, but still, the Mine Cart chase is fun, and Indy kicking ass is ALWAYS enjoyable. But. Why the hell does nobody seem to mind that he blatantly kidnaps Willie Scott?

I mean, let's look at the facts. Willie performs at Club Obi Wan (In a logistically ridiculous number that could never be feasibly staged, but thats for another time). Indy rocks up with the ashes of Nurhachi. Shit goes down, and the next thing you know, Indy and Willie are making a quick getaway. Now, this much I understand. She has the antidote he needs. So thus far, having her along seems like a good idea. But thats where it ends. Once they hit the airport and manage to escape in Lao Ches plane, what possible reason is there for her to join them? It's not like she made herself overly useful up until that point- actually, just the opposite! She lost the diamond, she dropped the gun AND she bitched incessantly. None of these are desirable in a traveling companion. Especially when you just KNOW adventures are afoot.

So, the only explanation is, Indiana Jones is a kidnapper. I'm not even being stupid here. He literally forced her out of the club- no one was trying to hurt her in there, remember. In fact, the first person to even threaten her was Indy himself! With a fork. From there, he forces her out of the club, and instead of leaving her in the safety of Shanghai, where she lives and works quite happily, he makes her get on the plane and accompany him to wherever he was planning to go! Now, I'm not one to overdramatise, but thats just one roofie away from a daterape/abduction combo...Not a TERRIBLE way to spend an evening with Indiana Jones, sure, but not the most PC thing you can imagine a respected US Archaeologist getting up to in his spare time.

Seriously. Go watch the movie again. See if you can look at it the same way. And then, explain to me where the fuck Short Round dissapears to after this movie! Would it have killed them to chuck an Asian guy into the wedding scene at the end of Crystal Skull, to fanwank the continuity buffs? Gah!