"Why are you single??"
This is the most hateful, socially inappropriate query imaginable. If questions had a face, I would punch this question in it. I would punch this question in the face. Because honestly, what answer is there for it? Boys just don't like me? The worst part about it though is the fact that the enquirer is never content to leave it at the initial transgression. Oh no. They choose to follow it up with something along the lines of "You're so cute, and nice!". So you see what happens now? Now, it becomes MY fault somehow. Because the idea of someone being single when, conceivably, they COULD be in a relationship, is totally socially unacceptable, or inconceivable.
Is it so hard to imagine a person can be single because they find life more enjoyable that way? Is it not just implied that a single person is such because the option of being in a relationship that will make them happy just hasn't presented itself yet? No. It creates such a paradox that reasons need to be found for it.
I hate the unspoken implication the conversation carries, as well, wherein there must be something inherently wrong with ME as a person in that I've been unable to land a husband, especially when we eliminate physical appearance as a factor. So essentially, we're saying either I'm BATSHIT CRAZY, or else flawed in some other ridiculous way, and as such manage to make myself undatable.
For the record, I'm NOT undatable. I'm just not dating. Massive difference. And you know what? That's my choice. And not one I feel the need to justify. It's a position that requires neither defence nor explanation. I've been in relationships. At the moment, I'm not. And surprise- I'm happy. My friends are amazing, and lonliness isn't an issue. Love isn't an issue. And I'd rather be single than launch myself into an available relationship out of boredom.
So next time you think you should ask me that question, stop. Punch yourself in the face. Save me the effort. We'll all feel better in the long run.
Is it so hard to imagine a person can be single because they find life more enjoyable that way? Is it not just implied that a single person is such because the option of being in a relationship that will make them happy just hasn't presented itself yet? No. It creates such a paradox that reasons need to be found for it.
I hate the unspoken implication the conversation carries, as well, wherein there must be something inherently wrong with ME as a person in that I've been unable to land a husband, especially when we eliminate physical appearance as a factor. So essentially, we're saying either I'm BATSHIT CRAZY, or else flawed in some other ridiculous way, and as such manage to make myself undatable.
For the record, I'm NOT undatable. I'm just not dating. Massive difference. And you know what? That's my choice. And not one I feel the need to justify. It's a position that requires neither defence nor explanation. I've been in relationships. At the moment, I'm not. And surprise- I'm happy. My friends are amazing, and lonliness isn't an issue. Love isn't an issue. And I'd rather be single than launch myself into an available relationship out of boredom.
So next time you think you should ask me that question, stop. Punch yourself in the face. Save me the effort. We'll all feel better in the long run.
2 comments:
What kind of douche asks that question? In all honesty, how much of a tool would you have to be to ask somebody that question?
You'd be surprised how often it's been posed to me lately, dude...
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